When To Send Out The Save The Date

The basic rule of thumb is to send save the dates 6 months before the wedding.

For a destination wedding, it is customary to mail save the dates 8 to 12 months in advance.

For a local affair, send save the dates 4 months in advance. Follow your save the dates with your formal invitations about 8 weeks before the wedding.

The ring is on your finger and the planning is underway, let’s get your guests in the loop. Number one is to send a save-the-date card (aka the pre-invitation that officially announces your date and lets your guests know that they should schedule it in). But you have to do it right.

So here are the mistakes to avoid when it’s time to give your guests the heads up.

Not Sending Them at all

Yes, this counts as a mistake in my opinion. I know you don't have to send save-the-dates (if you're having a very short engagement, I understand it might make more sense to simply send out invitations), you're typically doing yourself a disservice by not sending them.

Most definitely, if you're having a destination wedding or a three day weekend affair, you want to give guests enough time to clear their schedules and arrange and generally increase their chances of being able to make it to your big day. That's the goal, right?

Sending Them Too Late

As a general rule of thumb, I recommend to start sending them out around 6 to 8 months prior to the ceremony (send them earlier for a faraway destination or holiday weekend). This gives wedding guests plenty of time to book their travel, save money and ask for days off work.

Any later than that and they won't have enough lead time to do those things. After all, the only pieces of information you need on them are your names, wedding date (or dates, if it's a weekend) and location—just the city is fine, so you don't even need to have your venue booked yet.

Including your wedding website is ideal, but not necessary.

Sending Them Too Early

On the contrary, if you send them too early, they may toss the notice aside and forget about it.

Also, you should never send out formal wedding information before setting things in stone just in case plans change or something falls through.

In the event of an unexpected switcheroo, your best bet is to update your wedding website, pick up the phone and start spreading the word.

You do have the option of sending out another mailing that explains the dilemma, but a personal, verbal notice is the best way to avoid confusion.

If your wedding guest list is a bit overwhelming, enlist the help of your bridal party.

Sending Them To People You’re Unsure About

When the save the dates are sent off, there's no turning back. So make sure to only send them to those guests you definitely want to attend.

(Even the ones you've received verbal confirmations from, like your bridesmaids and family members).

Overthinking The Design

Save-the-dates are much less formal than your wedding invitations and definitely don't have to match them or your theme.

This is your opportunity to let your style as a couple really shine, or try out a theme you love but are hesitant to commit to just yet.

Play with colors, motifs or fonts to create something that will get guests excited for the occasion.

Only Sending Electronic Invitations

Email invitations for informal events like bachelorette parties and postwedding brunches are becoming more popular, and as a result, rewriting the rules of snail mail etiquette.

We stand by old-school stationery for the big stuff like formal invitations, but the use of digital is up to your discretion. If you do decide on digital, consider doubling up: Send out an electronic save-the-date to everyone and send paper correspondence just in case the email goes to spam.

Also, chances are you have older relatives or friends who may want to keep the physical one as a keepsake.

Being Unclear About Invitees

It's best to be as clear as possible about who's invited to the wedding, even this far in advance.

By including the actual names of every intended guest on the envelope, you're less likely to have any assumed invitees (like your second cousin's new boyfriend), or general confusion (is your 7-year-old niece invited?).

Be up front about who's invited. It gives families with uninvited kids ample time to plan for child care, and out-of-towners time to figure out hotel room shares.

Including Registry Information

While your guests will likely want to know where you're registered, it's in bad taste to include this information on your save-the-dates. Gifts, of course, are not required. 

You can wait to include a link to your wedding website (where your registry information should live) on an invitation insert, and guests will know to ask bridal party attendants or your parents for the scoop if they need to do so.